Post by river on Oct 13, 2011 20:22:35 GMT -8
"Wait a little while, my love." She told him. "You might want to reevaluate that." He hadn't called her stupid on that pyramid, but it had hurt as though he had. "Spoilers." She was surprised that nearly everything wasn't spoilers these days - but the Doctor she was with right now was cheating, she could tell. He was later in his time stream than he was supposed to be and that had to be the TARDIS' doing.
"You'd have done it a little bit smarter. I went after him unprovoked, simply because I thought he had you in that TARDIS of his. How stupid. I had no reason to believe it. But I did." She shrugged a shoulder and then winced as the movement pulled on the bruises she'd received from being slammed into the wall.
"I'm what?" What was she, if not a blind idiot? His bespoke psychopath?
She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his briefly. "Thank you. Can't ever be quite sure. You're a liar, Doctor. Always have been. But then again, so am I. Have to be, don't I? What a pair we make." She pulled back, grinding her teeth together to mask the pain of that particular movement. She wouldn't be surprised if she found herself bleeding. He'd slammed her head against the wall pretty hard. Wasn't exactly the most pleasant of experiences, but far moreso than the drums.
She knew she was keeping him. Keeping him, always, from someone else, from something else - and keeping him now from the Master, where he could do something. But that thought nearly broke her. Nearly tore her in two because she couldn't possibly let him get hurt. She vowed to never let him be hurt, as long as she was alive.
"I'm sorry, so sorry." She murmured to him, like a mantra. River brought her hands up to cradle his face, stroking her fingers along his temple. "I know what he means to you." And where did she get the right to tell him not to leave her? Not to go after someone who meant something to him, when it could maybe, possibly, give him a second chance? Did she have the right to take that from him?
She wanted to tell herself that she did; that a simple handfasting ceremony had done that - but he wasn't there yet, was he? And she could argue that everything today meant that she meant something to him, but .... well, how much could she really say?
But it was more than that, wasn't it? It was more than her being selfish, it always was. A long time ago she'd assigned herself as his protector, the one that kept him steady while he went around protecting others. And she couldn't let him be hurt. Sure, the possibility of a good outcome was there, but did it outweigh the possibility of something terrible?
Not in her eyes.
Her fingers still stroked over his temple, as if she was the one soothing him. "I don't want you to hurt, and I know, sweetie. I know what I'm asking you. But he..." River's eyes fluttered closed. The memory of the Master crushing his mouth against hers just to anger her, the way he'd tapped the end of her nose because he knew that wasn't his right - disgust shuddered down her spine. "I couldn't stop him. I can't lose you." She wasn't a child anymore, like she'd been on that pyramid. She knew that loosing him meant something bigger - that the world was losing him, too. She knew that now more strongly than she had on the pyramid. "This planet won't survive without you, Doctor."
A/N: details of the master and river's little adventure come from the thread with maggie and i, which we completed the other day. xD
"You'd have done it a little bit smarter. I went after him unprovoked, simply because I thought he had you in that TARDIS of his. How stupid. I had no reason to believe it. But I did." She shrugged a shoulder and then winced as the movement pulled on the bruises she'd received from being slammed into the wall.
"I'm what?" What was she, if not a blind idiot? His bespoke psychopath?
She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his briefly. "Thank you. Can't ever be quite sure. You're a liar, Doctor. Always have been. But then again, so am I. Have to be, don't I? What a pair we make." She pulled back, grinding her teeth together to mask the pain of that particular movement. She wouldn't be surprised if she found herself bleeding. He'd slammed her head against the wall pretty hard. Wasn't exactly the most pleasant of experiences, but far moreso than the drums.
She knew she was keeping him. Keeping him, always, from someone else, from something else - and keeping him now from the Master, where he could do something. But that thought nearly broke her. Nearly tore her in two because she couldn't possibly let him get hurt. She vowed to never let him be hurt, as long as she was alive.
"I'm sorry, so sorry." She murmured to him, like a mantra. River brought her hands up to cradle his face, stroking her fingers along his temple. "I know what he means to you." And where did she get the right to tell him not to leave her? Not to go after someone who meant something to him, when it could maybe, possibly, give him a second chance? Did she have the right to take that from him?
She wanted to tell herself that she did; that a simple handfasting ceremony had done that - but he wasn't there yet, was he? And she could argue that everything today meant that she meant something to him, but .... well, how much could she really say?
But it was more than that, wasn't it? It was more than her being selfish, it always was. A long time ago she'd assigned herself as his protector, the one that kept him steady while he went around protecting others. And she couldn't let him be hurt. Sure, the possibility of a good outcome was there, but did it outweigh the possibility of something terrible?
Not in her eyes.
Her fingers still stroked over his temple, as if she was the one soothing him. "I don't want you to hurt, and I know, sweetie. I know what I'm asking you. But he..." River's eyes fluttered closed. The memory of the Master crushing his mouth against hers just to anger her, the way he'd tapped the end of her nose because he knew that wasn't his right - disgust shuddered down her spine. "I couldn't stop him. I can't lose you." She wasn't a child anymore, like she'd been on that pyramid. She knew that loosing him meant something bigger - that the world was losing him, too. She knew that now more strongly than she had on the pyramid. "This planet won't survive without you, Doctor."
A/N: details of the master and river's little adventure come from the thread with maggie and i, which we completed the other day. xD