hole in the universe // SIRIUS

[COLE ARDEN]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i52.tinypic.com/otj5sn.jpg); width: 390px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 40px 0px; opacity: 0.8; border-right: #909ab8 15px solid; border-left: #909ab8 15px solid;] » the day you slipped away « » was the day i found it won't be the same « Cole had not taken kindly to the world the past few months. He'd split from the Order, half intent on following Sirius into the afterlife and half intent on bringing him back somehow. However, what he was doing now was totally beyond the latter and starting to aim for the former: he'd been going around doing the best he possibly could at tearing up the Death Eaters' ranks as they rebuilt themselves and making Voldemort's life hell. Of course, there was only so much one man could do, but so far, he'd done a damn lot. The first thing he'd done was head back to the dragon reserve he'd worked at for all those years. Now that he was a free man and could do whatever he pleased, he wanted to free all the dragons that were being kept there against their wills. The ones who wanted to leave left. The ones who wanted to stay stayed. But the one he'd made friends with had stayed by his side. Iris, he'd called her, on account of her iridescent scales and her pupilless eyes. She stood by him and wanted to come along with him, wherever he went, and so she became his one constant companion throughout his journey. The destruction he'd left in his wake, though, had caught up to him, and he started to take on his draconic appearance more often. If they thought they were being attacked by dragons, then no blame would fall on him, a human. He'd heard of the Resurrection Stone, one of three items that, when united, would grant their user mastery over death. Originally, he left to search them out, wanting to find a way to bring Sirius back to life... but he realized eventually that he'd started to do the same thing Sirius had done. He was twisting reality to suit himself, to make sure that he didn't go insane with loss. Sirius wasn't gone. He was just... somewhere else, and all Cole had to do was fetch him from that place and bring him back. Simple, right? He'd been searching for the past six months for the Deathly Hallows, in order to fetch Sirius from that place that was nowhere and everywhere at the same time, to fill that emptiness in the world that he felt at his side, to put his friend back in his rightful place and not have to see the gaping Sirius-shaped hole in the universe next to him all the time. It was starting to get unbearable. If Iris hadn't been there, and if he hadn't been keeping close contact with Eirawen, he figured that he would have been lost to insanity by now. However... he was still alright. And he was still searching. He had to bring Sirius back, and he had to do it by himself. No one else cared about him, no one else knew it like Cole did. Sirius wasn't dead. He was just somewhere else. Waiting for Cole to break through the Veil and find him. Bring him back to his proper place. And so he would keep walking, keep searching, until his body collapsed and wouldn't go any further. He sat there, in the middle of a desolated wasteland -- his own doing; there had been Death Eaters, and he and Iris had torched the place -- leaning up against Iris' flank and staring at the flickering fire. It was twilight, that odd time of day when the sun had just set and the stars were coming out, but the moon had not risen and the sky was still a soft purple instead of the oh-so-dark blue blanket that would cover the earth eventually. The fire was to keep warm; it was winter in Germany, wherever he was, and Iris could only generate so much heat without attracting attention. He leaned his head back, staring up at the sky. The purples and pinks were in the west, where the sun had just set, and the darkness had started to encroach on the eastern skies. He wished that the sun would come back and not leave the earth to the moon, so that he wouldn't have to sleep and see the day his world was taken from him over and over again in his dreams. He'd taken to not sleeping, but Iris had caught him staying up for days on end, and he'd nearly become delusional. She forced him to sleep, but it was always the same nightmare. The Department of Mysteries. The Veil. Bellatrix's spell. Sirius backing up, tripping, falling, the Veil grabbing him, taking him away... He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to think about it. Sirius wasn't gone. He was somewhere else. Cole sighed to himself and buried his face in his hands. "Where are you, Sirius?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ » notes « tagged » - - - - - - siri 801- - - - - « words lyrics » - - - - - - avril lavigne elevenie - - - - - - « credit

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[SIRIUS BLACK]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i52.tinypic.com/otj5sn.jpg); width: 390px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 40px 0px; opacity: 0.8; border-right: #8c3030 15px solid; border-left: #8c3030 15px solid;] » What you give will always carry you « » And who's to say we wont survive it too? « In his animagus form, Sirius made his way through the outskirts of the German park.. or plain.. or 'hohlkopf'-- whatever that odd word he heard some man mutter actually meant. He only had a vague sense of where he was; how many days he'd been in the country and how many hours it had last been since he came across people. He was still too far inland for him to be comfortable stopping for the night, despite the setting sun above him. Really he'd prefer not to stop until he found Cole again. But he'd made that plan over two weeks ago-- when he first found that Cole was no longer traceable within the order-- and the was obviously no way of upholding it when finding Cole seemed to be taking him on a wild goose chase through half of Europe. The situation couldn't have been considered anything close to normal, but he'd come to terms with that after waking up somewhere outside the Ministry of Magic, his last memories being having been hit by Bellatrix's spell. It hadn't been the killing curse, which he'd seen used enough times. Whatever she'd done was slower; not killing him but.. stopping him. That was the best word he could think of. First on the outside and then the inside, his body shut down though his mind had understood what was happening in a way that probably shouldn't have been possible. He'd fallen, and the veil had done the rest of the work. The Death Chambers were, he'd now say honestly, not the best place to hold a duel. Not then or now did he have an explanation for how he was revived. He hadn't paid attention to the exact date they battled in the Department of Mysteries, but he'd snuck a look at a newspaper in a shop and was more than shocked to see that they were now in a different year. Harry had been finishing his fifth term last he remembered; now the new one had started. He'd have turned thirty-seven less than a month ago. He wondered if being dead gave him an excuse to ignore it. Six months he'd been gone. He'd made a careless decision, and people he cared about had certainly been hurt by the effects. But it had been six months. And a nagging voice in the back of his head told him that he shouldn't go back. They'd be over it by now. He didn't need to go stirring up trouble, causing more damage than he already did. Because he was bound to. It was in his nature. It would be for the best he stayed away. But none the less, revealing himself or not, he had to see. He hadn't even known if he was the only casualty that day six months prior. He checked up on numerous people, and that's when he found out that he couldn't find Cole anywhere. The idea that Cole had died was nonexistent for Sirius. Not Cole; he was too strong with or without his Dragonboy-ness, too smart- paranoia giving him a layer of protection Sirius himself lacked. He couldn't have died. It wasn't possible. So he was just.. somewhere. Doing... something. And Sirius was going to find out what it was. He'd resigned himself to playing dead anyway, so he hadn't a thing better to do. But after a week of not finding Cole, the only leads he had taking his out of the country, he began to grown increasingly concerned about his friend's welfare. And that's why he was in a strange place, in a strange time. Which was, really, nothing he hadn't done a few years before. He was tracking the same way as he had then too. By stories. By trying to piece things together. He didn't know what it was that Cole had done, but each time he heard someone use the word dragon in discussing catastrophic current events --which admittedly he hadn't since crossing into Germany since everyone was, well, speaking German-- he knew he was on the right track. Now he was relying more on instincts. The smell of charred ground and smoke he'd been following was getting closer, and in it now he could pick up something much more familiar. He broke into a run, until he was close enough he knew Cole's hearing would pick up on his movements. He transformed back into a human, keeping hidden for a moment outside the clearing and trying to observe the other man. He looked more worn down than Sirius ever remembered him looking, and much closer to his real age. There was a far away look in his eyes Sirius knew all too well. He almost didn't need to hear the words to be both glad and upset that he'd gone after Cole. To know that he couldn't at this point keep himself unknown. Stepping closer while he buried his head, Sirius snuck up behind the former Ravenclaw, waiting until he was just at the right moment to "slip up" and alert the other of his presence. He then proceeded to answer the question that he knew had been directed to only the sky. "Lately? I've been tracking down you." His voice was slightly hoarse, evidently having been lacking use, but none the less the tone its usual mischievous one. "You've made it rather difficult too. You'd think you were the one that was on the run." He smirked to one side, though he wasn't sure what he could or couldn't put past his friend. "I mean, Germany? Not all of us get to travel by dragon. Some have to-" He blinked. He'd taken note of the large, almost shimmering presence behind Cole, but he hadn't put a name to it until now. "Cole...? You have a dragon." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ » notes « tagged » - - - - - - cole 1034- - - - - « words lyrics » - - - - - - alter bridge my amazing elevenie - - - - - - « credit

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[COLE ARDEN]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i52.tinypic.com/otj5sn.jpg); width: 390px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 40px 0px; opacity: 0.8; border-right: #909ab8 15px solid; border-left: #909ab8 15px solid;] » the day you slipped away « » was the day i found it won't be the same « The voice was familiar and yet strange at the same time, like having not heard from a friend in the longest time. Cole slowly lifted his head from his hands, turning around and standing up to face his friend. There he was, looking good and fine and not dead. Cole was skeptical, though, knowing that he hadn't succeeded in his mission and no one else would even try to get Sirius back among them... So how had he come back? Cole then decided that Sirius was just an illusion, a hallucination caused by his longing and sadness. "Yeah, I have a dragon." he replied, sounding blase and almost bored. "She was the one I was trying to do stuff with; turns out the explosion did a bit more than I'd thought it had." The reason Iris had stayed with him was that the backfired potion had caused a link in their minds, and she had come to see him like another dragon, like a brother. He'd always thought of her as a kindred spirit, but this just made it even more so. They were friends, almost siblings, and not the owner/pet relationship one would think they'd have. He'd missed his friend so badly that one would think that he'd jump at any chance to talk with him, but this had happened more often than not. Recently, Cole had had more than one hallucination of Sirius a day, the most being seven that day he'd come down with a horrible fever from not sleeping and overworking himself. This Sirius, though, looked and sounded different. Usually, the hallucinations had something wrong with them, and had never noticed Iris before. Sometimes, Sirius' feet were missing, or he was slightly see-through, like a ghost, or he was just... different. This Sirius was exactly how Cole remembered him, down to the clothes he was wearing. Was he actually real this time? But... he hadn't brought Sirius back. The hole wasn't filled yet. He stepped forward, inspecting Sirius' face. Could he be real? Everything was in the right places, and nothing was missing. He poked Sirius' chest, surprised that his finger met solid flesh. He could feel Sirius' heartbeat flutter under the skin, and his lips turned upward into a small smile, the first one in six months. "It's really you this time, isn't it?" he asked, looking up into Sirius' face. "You're real... It's really you; you're real." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ » sorry this took so long D: « tagged » - - - - - - siri 404 - - - - - « words lyrics » - - - - - - avril lavigne elevenie - - - - - - « credit

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[SIRIUS BLACK]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i52.tinypic.com/otj5sn.jpg); width: 390px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 40px 0px; opacity: 0.8; border-right: #8c3030 15px solid; border-left: #8c3030 15px solid;] » What you give will always carry you « » And who's to say we wont survive it too? « Sirius turned from Cole to Iris when he received confirmation that she did indeed exist-- and was indeed a dragon. He stepped closer to the creature without any hesitation, as if he'd slept through the warnings that irritating a dragon could prove fatal and it just didn't occur to him, or he just couldn't bring himself to care. He'd died once now; and there hadn't been much to it. The only thing was what it did to Cole, which was admittedly enough to give him pause and make him regret his overall attitude on the matter. As far as the dragon went though, Cole seemed to trust her. And that was more than enough for Sirius to deem her alright by him. "So," he looked up, his gray eyes meeting her pupil-less once. The bemusement had yet to leave his features. "you're the reason Cole here is a Dragonboy.." She looked at him for a moment before bringing her head down an licking him. He didn't seem too surprised by the unexpected gesture. Like an overgrown, shiny, fire-breathing hippogryff. He gave her a nod. "Nice to meet you too." He refrained from talking as Cole looked over him in detail, instead opting to do the same for his friend. He looked down as Cole poked his chest and then spoke, bringing light and sense to the situation at hand. He couldn't help the frown that crossed his lips. Again, Sirius wished he could have been there. Prevented this whole mess. But he could understand now why Cole was having a hard time believing he was real. He'd hardly have believed it too; if his deceased best friend started having a conversation with him. Well... he'd made the mistake enough times already. He didn't want to think that that was where Cole had found himself. "I'd like to hope I'm real." Cole's smile had been contagious. Depression very hadn't been a nice color on his friend. Enough times the older man had seen him through hard times. He could feel bad about it all later. It'd look fine and normal on him. But Cole, nope. He was going to fix it. He'd gone. But now he was back; and that had to count for something. "I've done a bit too much for a nonexistent person, you'd think." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ » notes « tagged » - - - - - - cole 419- - - - - « words lyrics » - - - - - - alter bridge my amazing elevenie - - - - - - « credit

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[COLE ARDEN]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i52.tinypic.com/otj5sn.jpg); width: 390px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 40px 0px; opacity: 0.8; border-right: #909ab8 15px solid; border-left: #909ab8 15px solid;] » the day you slipped away « » was the day i found it won't be the same « Cole looked up into his friend's face, utterly overwhelmed. He'd looked so hard, he'd gone so far... And Sirius had found his way back. Six months had gone by and he'd made no headway in his search -- all the rumors about the Stone had turned up as either plain rocks or nothing at all -- but still, Sirius had come back. His breath was catching in his throat, as was his voice. His chest hurt with suppressed sobs, but the telltale tears were threatening to spill. Sirius was here. He was real. No tricks, no illusions. No hallucinations. He was here. The reality that Sirius had died suddenly crashed down on him, and Cole broke. Before Sirius could see what was going on, he thrust himself forward and pulled his friend into a hug, clutching at him like a lifeline. "I looked for you." he choked out, unable to stop his jaw from trembling. "I looked everywhere for you." He couldn't stop the tears from cascading down his face, but he managed to suppress the sobs for a few more moments. He couldn't stop thinking about it. He was touching a solid figure, a real body, instead of his hand passing through the illusion like he always used to. As he slowly calmed down, he let his friend go, wiping his eyes on his sleeve and giving a rather wet sounding sniffle. He hated crying. All it gave someone was wet cheeks, swollen red eyes and a headache, not to mention the stuffed up nose that made everything so much worse. "Sorry..." he apologized. He knew that Sirius wasn't too fond of girly things, like crying or being dramatic, but he couldn't help himself. It had happened and he couldn't have stopped it even if he'd tried. Which he had. He'd tried really hard, but it hadn't been enough... He just hoped that Sirius wouldn't tease him about crying like a girl, even if it had been over Sirius' death and subsequent rebirth. Which reminded him... "How... how did you get back?" he asked, knowing that no spell could bring back the dead, and no one but him would go to such lengths to get Sirius back. "You... you died, I saw it. How did you come back?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ » sorry for the late... again. really need to stop doing this. « tagged » - - - - - - siri 379 - - - - - « words lyrics » - - - - - - avril lavigne elevenie - - - - - - « credit

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[SIRIUS BLACK]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,background-image:url(http://i52.tinypic.com/otj5sn.jpg); width: 390px; -moz-border-radius: 40px 0px 40px 0px; border-radius:40px 0px 40px 0px; opacity: 0.8; border-right: #8c3030 15px solid; border-left: #8c3030 15px solid;] » What you give will always carry you « » And who's to say we wont survive it too? « Sirius was honestly surprised when Cole pulled him into the hug, crying despite an obvious effort not to. He'd seen his friend show all sorts of emotions before, but never this sudden or extreme and certinly never because of him. He supposed he hoped Cole'd have been like everyone else and moved on. Cole wasn't supposed to care. Things.. things would have made more sense if he didn't. The fact that Sirius had actaully been a signifigant part of Cole's life-- well it must have been bad, but the display had made him as happy as it did upset. While he normally would have been teasing Cole or trying to cheer him up, he was just.. shocked right now, among plenty of other confusing feelings, much more difficult to word and hard to use in the same sentence. "You did," he nodded assuringly. Cole had looked. He didn't doubt it. "And you found me." He waved off the apology when they broke apart. It hardly mattered right now. They were here and.. they were here. "I wouldn't say I died," he pushed his previous thoughts from his head and put back on the 'perfectly cool with everything going on' attitude. Although Cole had seen through that nearly a year ago and tehre was hardly any reason he wouldn't today. But technically, things were good. Confusing.. but only when you think. "I was just.. livingly challenged for a moment." He trailed off slightly as he finished the statement, words playing back only they weren't his. They were words that had made perfect sense but weren't ever supposed to be said. Not anymore. That had, for the longest time, been the Marauders euphamism for death. Up until half way through the first war. Really, until.. until. Mr and Mrs Potter had been livingly challenged and Marleene and Regulus and half the Order and dozens of muggles. Everyone until.. well. Until. They weren't dead. Only partying in some.. some livingly challenged exclusive place that he must have done something or other to get himself excluded from. Of course, he'd done a lot of things that would make him never want to see-- well, them never want to see him.... of course. So instead he was alive. In all the time he'd been alive he'd never thought it was wrong. He just.. he was alive. But now it felt wrong. Disturbing. Cole had basically said it; he didn't bring Sirius back. And nobody else would have because.. because they weren't Cole and it was hard enough to believe that Cole would have. Playing with death was bad. It was.. Voldemort and co. bad. And so.. if anyone did anything, it wasn't someone with good intentions. So yeah, he was back. But.. It felt impure and nonsensical. And though he hadn't been either pure or sensicle for a long long time now it was just.. it was wrong and disturbing and wrong. Why him? It shouldn't have been him. He could think of so many people. He could think of someone at least. No. It wasn't fair. He looked back at Cole. "If I did anything I don't remember... " Even though he knew he'd never have done it, choice or not. "No... I don't know...." not for sure but he had an idea. "I didn't do it." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ » this post felt... weird. >.> « tagged » - - - - - - cole 592- - - - - « words lyrics » - - - - - - alter bridge my amazing elevenie - - - - - - « credit

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